


Welcome to Ferrari

by Clementines



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 21:12:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2403044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clementines/pseuds/Clementines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kimi's reaction to Sebastian going to Ferrari.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Welcome to Ferrari

Kimi can’t help his jaw dropping and hitting the floor when Ferrari makes the official announcement. 

“We are happy to announce that Sebastian Vettel will be joining us for the 2015/2016 season.” 

Kimi doesn’t listen to more. As much as he tried to keep himself out of the media world, he wasn’t deaf and blind. He had heard the rumors, Horner’s comments, he had seen Sebastian trying to impersonate a poker face he was horrible at, and yet he had refused to believe it. 

Sebastian wouldn’t come to Ferrari. Sebastian wasn’t that stupid. Sebastian didn’t even tell him. Kimi ignores the comments of the mechanics and the team managers about how he should be happy, being in the same team as his mate. Kimi is far away from happy but, for most people, it’s hard to tell the difference anyway. He patiently waits for the day to end and, when the paddock is almost empty, he walks towards the Red Bull garage.

Kimi shakes his head at how forseeable Sebastian is, sitting in the middle of the garage like Kimi had thought he would. Suddenly it hits Kimi that maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s just that Kimi knows Sebastian so well by now that he can easily guess. The thought scares him and he wonders how in hell everything got so fucked up. He was the iceman for god’s sake, how did he end up in this? He coughs, waiting for Sebastian to notice. The German looks up and swallows, almost scared to face the Finn, before attempting a feeble smile. 

“Are you mad?” His voice is low and tentative, as a child’s one when talking to an adult. 

“You lied to me.”

Sebastian shakes his head energetically. “I told you I was leaving.”

Kimi snorts, his hands on his hips. “Yeah, you just forgot to mention where you were going to!”

Sebastian casts his eyes down, knowing he can’t deny it. 

“Now I understand why you have been avoiding me lately. You couldn’t lie to my face, huh?”

Sebastian sighs and gets up, raising his voice. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you! I knew you’d be mad.”

“Of course I’d be mad! This is a stupid move Seb!”

Sebastian chuckles humorlessly. “Says the guy who fucked up his career in its best moment!”

He regrets the words the moment they leave his mouth. He knows the subject has always been, and still is, a sore spot for Kimi. When Kimi signed with Ferrari after Lotus, Sebastian hadn’t understood. Why come back to a place where he hadn’t been loved right? The Finn hadn’t answered but he had made Sebastian understand that it was kind of an old wound he needed to heal. 

“I’m sorry Kimi. You know I don’t think that at all about you.”

“Of course you do, and you’re right. I fucked up. Why don’t learn from Seb?”

Sebastian is always amazed by the eternal ability Kimi has to surprise him. Maybe that’s why Kimi is such a fascinating human being to him. Maybe that’s why Sebastian feels something for him he is unable to feel for anyone else, not even Hannah who he loves dearly. Every time he thinks he has figured out the Finn, he is proved wrong and he wonders how a person that seems so monochromatic to many can have so many layers hidden underneath. 

“I needed to leave Kimi. They didn’t want me anymore. Here, you have to be young to be wanted.”

“You are young.”

Sebastian courses himself under his breath. He knows Kimi is having a really hard time accepting that youth goes away for everyone, even him. He seems to be saying all the wrong things.

“I was unhappy. It’s been wonderful but it was over, ja?”

Kimi knows what Sebastian means and, deep down, agrees. Even hard workers such as Sebastian need novelty to get motivated. When you do the same thing everyday for a long time, it doesn’t matter how much you love it, you stop putting all your heart into it. 

“Yeah, you can leave Seb but not to go to Ferrari. That’s just plain stupid.”

“They promised me a good car. I’ll work on the car development, I’m bringing people in.”

“They’ve been promising the same thing to Fernando for years. Look how that turned out.”

Sebastian sighed. “They have to win at some point, Kimi. Plus, imagine Fernando’s face if I win with Ferrari? Priceless man.”

The German intends it as a joke but the Finn doesn’t laugh.

“Why didn’t you go to McLaren? Why the hell not Seb? They’re going to be good. You know they’re going to be.”

“Ferrari’s contract was impressive.”

Kimi snorts and shakes his head. “Money, really Seb? Don’t give me that bullshit! We both know you don’t need money. You want to win. You’re the most competitive little shit I’ve ever known, why the hell Ferrari?”

Kimi was getting impatient and Sebastian was running out of arguments.

“The prestige! You of all people should know Ferrari is different. Winning with Ferrari is the most for a pilot.”

“And McLaren isn’t prestigious?” 

“It’s not the same. Michael’s legend was with Ferrari.”

“Oh for God’s sake! Stop feeding me bullshit. Are you going to tell me the truth?”

Sebastian looks at him, silently. Kimi sighs and turns away, ready to leave. 

“Kimi! Those things are the truth.”

Kimi stops but doesn’t turn back. 

“It’s a mistake.”

Sebastian sighs. 

“You’re always been my biggest mistake.”

The German says it whispering, praying the Finn won’t hear and hoping for him to hear all the same. Kimi freezes to the spot and every muscle in him tense, he clenches his fists and breathes deeply, trying to calm himself and to not scare the kid who’s behind him. 

The voice comes off strangled. If Sebastian didn’t know any better, he’d say it’s the same one Kimi uses when they’re hiding away in the bedroom of a hotel nobody knows they’re in. 

“Sebastian, tell me that you going to Ferrari has nothing, nothing, to do with me.”

Silence is the only answer. 

“Tell me. Tell me now!”

The lasts words are shouted and Sebastian can feel the despair and the guilt that impregnate them. He contemplates lying for a moment, freeing Kimi of a charge he doesn’t really deserve but he decides against it. He is too tired of lying, lying to his friends, to his family, to himself and to Kimi. He wants, for once, to be a little more like the Finn. He wants to say whatever the heck he feels. 

“I didn’t choose Ferrari because of you.”

Kimi relaxes for a second, until the second part of the sentence comes out of the German’s mouth.

“But you were part of the reasons why I did.”

Kimi wants to shout, he wants to punch Sebastian, to cry and then fuck him into the wall roughly only as punishment. He can’t though; this is Sebastian after all. He turns around and look into the German’s eyes, he can only read something close to adoration and it scares him to death. 

He thinks back to the nerdy kid the German once was and wonders what did he do to fuck him up. The first years had been easy; Sebastian had only been a child and Kimi a cool idol to admire from afar; then he left Formula 1. When he came back, Sebastian was a successful man, a bit of a brat but a man nonetheless, and Kimi was pretty fucked up in his head.

He didn’t know how it began exactly, he couldn’t remember the moment where everything shifted. He couldn’t pinpoint the minute they had decided that it was okay to lie to everyone who cared deeply about them in order to live stolen moments in hotel rooms and deserted garages. Before he could figure it out, they got attached. 

“You had no right.” 

Is the only thing Kimi is able to say because the responsibility of having something to do with Sebastian’s decision is too overwhelming and it doesn’t belong to him; it shouldn’t belong to him. 

“Why? Why, Sebastian?”

Sebastian sighs. “It’s your last year. One season then you’ll leave, being a dad and all. You’re not the type to stop around the paddock or to work as a TV commentator, or inside a team. You’ll disappear. We’ll play Badminton once a year for a while then we’ll stop and we won’t see each other at all. We’ll only be memories.”

Kimi swallows and looks down, unable to contradict the German even though the words are as painful to him as they are to Sebastian. 

“I wanted this year. I wanted to be your teammate and enjoy the experience. It’s a once in a lifetime gift, Kimi. I’m young and Ferrari will get better. I’ve got time.”

Kimi wants to cry because he has heard those words years ago, he is almost sure those were the exact things he kept telling himself when he left F1. 

“There was a reason I didn’t go to Red Bull last year, Seb.”

Sebastian wonders how they came to this point, when had they became factors in each other’s professional decisions?

“It’s not going to happen Kimi. We’ll be fine. We’re not Nico and Lewis. We’re not. I won’t let that happen.”

Kimi sighs, surprised at the German’s innocence. The tension didn’t worry Kimi; he could deal with it. He had won once and that was enough for him. If could win once more, wonderful but if not, the world wouldn’t come to an end. He was in it for the rush while Sebastian was in it for the win. 

What truly scared Kimi was to share a year with Sebastian, so much time together. How the hell would they be able to walk away from each other after that? Walking away from stolen nights was one thing, having the dessert put in your mouth and being forced to spit it back afterwards was another one. 

Some people preferred to be happy for a while then suffer afterwards, not Kimi. Kimi didn’t want to feel the completion, the happiness and the easiness only to go back to normality. Kimi didn’t want the confirmation that Sebastian was everything he needed. You couldn’t miss what you never had. If he can’t keep it, he simply prefers not to have it. 

He doesn’t tell any of this to Sebastian nonetheless. He lets him think this is about winning and coping with loss because, somehow, it is; it’s just not about races. 

“Aren’t you happy at all? I thought, deep down, you’d like me as a teammate.”

Kimi looks at Sebastian and has to chuckle at the sight. He can read the insecurity in his eyes and wonder how in hell can still be so insecure about this. 

What Kimi doesn’t understand, and never will, is how amazing this still is for Sebastian. Some days the German still wonders, he wonders how he got Kimi Raikkonen, the coolest dude on the grid, to be his friend. He is still delighted by the fact that the iceman, who doesn’t get personally involved with anyone, chose him to be the exception. He’s always afraid, even though Kimi has never given him a reason to, the Finn will wake up one day, come back to his senses and leave him for someone better. It never happens, though. It never happens because Kimi knows there is no one better. 

The Finn sighs, accepting reality. The contract is signed anyway. Maybe Sebastian will be lucky, maybe he’d really get a good car and Fernando would be pissed off as hell. Sebastian Vettel had always been, after all, a lucky guy. Plus, he was right. Ferrari had to start winning again at some point. Kimi’s last year in Formula 1 should be as a true flying fucking Finn after all. 

So he strolls towards Sebastian, looks around to make sure nobody is there, and takes him by the waist, kissing him senseless. At first, the German is too surprised to react but he soon answers fervently; secretly thinking that if next season is going to be like this, he made the right decision anyway. Kimi pulls away, takes Sebastian’s hand and drags him out of the garage, confusing a very horny German. 

“Where are we going? I thought... Won’t you fuck me Kimi?”

The Finn has to laugh at Sebastian’s eagerness.

“Oh, I am but I’m choosing a new scenery.”

“Huh?”

The German understands when they arrive in front of the Ferrari garage. 

“I’m going to fuck you into your new garage. You deserve a welcoming, after all.”

Oh man, thinks Sebastian, he’s definitely going to love Ferrari.


End file.
